Updated: Jul 3, 2019
1. Above all else, love each other deeply.
Get ready to love something more than you ever thought possible. You always hear the phrase, “I would die for him/her,” but you will not truly understand that feeling until you have kids. Having a child is like having your heart living outside of your body and you will do anything you can to protect them.
2. Be kind to yourself.
You are new at this and it will take some time to get used to. Eventually it will be second nature to you but until then give yourself some grace and know that everything will be OK.
3. You can’t do it all.
You will kill yourself. Seriously. Chill the F out. The day you are home alone with your children is not the day you should be trying to clean the house, do the laundry, etc. That is the day you should be sitting in your pajamas all day with Netflix on repeat and relaxing with your kids. Feed them ice cream for breakfast. Whatever you need to do to survive.
4. Keep it simple.
Any stress or pressure you are feeling right now you are putting on yourself. Relax. You got this. Focus on raising healthy, happy children and take care of yourself. The rest will fall into place.
5. Ask for and accept help.
You are not a superhero. You cannot do it all. Ask for help and accept help when it is offered.
6. Do not expect your husband/wife to be a mind reader.
Tell them directly what you need from him and how you are feeling. It will save you a lot of trouble and frustration in the long run.
7. Moms, your husband is not your best friend.
No, hear me out. He is not going to listen or vent with you like a girlfriend. You need to find your tribe. Other women that like the same things you do, that can help keep you sane.
8. Trust your gut.
No one knows your baby like you do. If you feel like something is wrong, go to the doctor. You can’t put a price on peace of mind.
9. Don’t try to keep up with the Jones’s.
Do what works best for your family. You want to work? Work. You want to stay home with your kids and are able to financially? Stay home with your kids. There are always opinions and judgement from others. All that matters is your family and joy. Make your own decisions and don’t worry about everyone else’s opinions.
10. Keep your expectations low on Mother’s/Father’s Day.
The lower the better. Enjoy the day with your family and children. That’s what the day is all about. Don’t let high expectations ruin what could be a wonderful day with your family.
11. Nothing is permanent.
The way you feel right now is not how you will feel a month from now or even next week. Give it time. If you’re not happy with your daycare, for example, give it a month. If you’re still not happy, explore other options. Nothing is permanent. Don’t stress about something you can change if you want to.
12. Prioritize your mental health.
I have my master’s in counseling. I know all the tools and techniques needed to improve my mental health. Am I always “in control” of my mental health? Hell no. I’ve had multiple times when I’ve known my mental health was beyond unstable and I needed mental counseling. I went to the doctor, breaking down in her office, asking for anti-anxiety and antidepressants. These helped me get through those challenging times of my life where I’ve struggled with change, loss, or heart ache. Recognize when you need help and go to the doctor and mental health specialist for the support you need.
Written by Emily Matlock & Kelli Carver